Inouv 5, 228: On the Verge of Insanity

On the Verge of Insanity
Summary: Ruthgar and Caillin have a painful confrontation, while Araltaidan and Eliylw have a talk of the more pleasant kind.
OOC Date: 23/11/2013(OOC)
Related: Bad Place and Time and Devastating News
Players:
Caillin Ruthgar Araltaidan Eliylw Wenna 
Infirmary, Darfield Castle
The rectangular room has whitewashed walls and a stone floor bare of carpet and rushes. The air smells of vinegar, soap and strong herbs. On a far fall is a line of windows that look outside of the castle. Each of the windows has a widow box filled with fresh herbs and flowers. Along the wall opposite of the windows are about twenty beds in a row. The beds are narrow and simply made of sturdy oak and rope. Each bed has a fresh canvas, straw stuffed mattress covered with heavy unbleached and dyed linen sheets, a pillow, and a blue wool blanket. Next to each bed is a small square table and a stool. One each of the narrow walls are doors leading to other rooms. One leads to the hallway, which in turn leads to the main part of the castle. Across from the main entry are two doors. One leads to the apothecary and still room, and the other leads to the Royal Physician's office.
5th Day of Inouv, in the year 228

The dinner time. Most of the patients are now eating the food, brought to them. There is a plate of food near the young Baroness' table too. However, for now it is untouched.
Beside the young baroness' bed Gaela, her handmaiden, is sitting. She watches the girl with some concern.
The girl looks much more better than the other day. Her cheeks are slightly blushed. The flaxen curls are gathered with the golden ribbon. Her night gown is as white as snow, making the little girl look like an angel. The blanket is resting on her legs, while she is staring with sparkling eyes at her own belly. Her pale fingers are palming that belly, while Caillin is speaking, "My little boy, the winter will be over. You will grow together with Spring's flowers… I already know, how your first cloak will look like. It will have a wonderful blazon of our house…" and she speaks more and more, still palming her belly.

Entering the infirmary is Ruthgar. He is pale, the almost white tone of his skin contrasting to his red and black tunic and breeches. A smile brushes over his face when he sees his wife awake and in spirits that might appear good on first glance. "Caillin," he greets her, in his voice a mixture of concern and happiness to see her. After a glance to her untouched plate he remarks: "Are you not hungry? You should eat, my love." Still. There is a shadow over his mien. After those bad news of last night.

Araltaidan has been sleeping. Last night he wrote a little and dictated more for his reports to the Crown Prince. He is now beginning to rebound, his color improved and his becoming stronger. Much blood he had lost, nearly bled to death by the time he had been brought in, but his wounds though deep are small and he is regaining his strength. The Ranger now wakes and very carefully begins to pull himself to sit up with a grimace, able to rearrange his own pillows to do so.

Eliylw has been a scarce sight, this morning. She didn't sleep besides Araltaidan's bed like she has been but instead took Wenna's and Caedmon's advice and slept in her own bed. Slumber found her easily and for some length, making her sleep for longer than she meant to. Upon arriving several hours ago she was put to work and is only just now able to check on those here. First she drifts by Caillin's bed where she is now, standing by the foot of the bed although she does look towards Aralt who gets her to smile when she notices he's able to sit up.

Caillin smiles widely seeing her husband. She waves to him with one hand, "I am not hungry or now. I will eat later. You have no idea what happened the other day… Something went wrong with my wound. It hurted so much. But now there is no pain. Everything is alright, my love! We are blessed! As I said you…" She waves him again to come closer and sit on the bed beside her, "I can't wait on leaving the infirmary finally. That we, my little boy and I, coudl work on our good deed! Orphanage is waiting. We will make many chidlren so happy. I feel really bad though, that because of this the work should be delayed… Maybe you could start work while I am here? My love, you just ahve to show place for workers and give them jobs, could you do that? And when we will be released, we will take care of that, my love!" She smiles and lowers her gaze back on the belly, "I was so afraid about you, my little pea…"
Caillin gives no attention to the woman beside her bed.

The Sky Forester looks around, watching those who are awake. Aralt looks sleepy yet himself, lifting his left hand to rub at grit in his eyes and then over his beard that is growing in thicker from the stubble it was previously a few days back. The man's color has improved and he reaches over to pick up a cup of water that has been left by his bed. Oddly enough, someone has also left a small bowel of milk with honey in it set /underneath/ his bed.

The man stirring in one of the other beds catches the Ruxton's attention for a moment, but then his pale grey gaze returns to his wife. Eli is recognized and greeted with a polite incline of the head. Something in the things his wife says, has Ruthgar turn his head and shoot her an alarmed glance. Sitting down on the bed beside her, he studies her for a moment intently before he speaks. "My love. Baroness Wenna told you. She told me yesterday as well." His voice is soft as he carefully picks his words. "Our child will not live. You know that. And… I want you to know that I…," he exhales deeply, "…I am sure there will be others. You are still so very young. Just do me the favor, and eat something. You need your strength to recover, and the sooner that happens, the sooner we will be able to have you return to our quarters…"

Girl's eyes widen at such words. Now, they look like two oval moons. Though, really misty moons, gloomed by dark storm clouds, which are starting to rain. These grey eyes fulfill with tears.
However, her smile, warm and playful, slightly amused is dancing on her lips, creating vivid contrast. Her hands are still very gently and very carefully palming her belly. After a long moment of silence, Caillin whispers, staring at the young baron, "My love, you shouldn't joke like this… This is not funny… You find the wrong moment to tease me. Our baby is alright, he is here," she pats the belly, "I feel him. I feel his little heart, I feel… It is the boy. He will be the warrior as good as you! He will!" The girl chuckles a bit nervously and first tears start rippling across her cheeks. Her smile is trembling as the hands, which are palming the belly.

It is a personal moment that Eliylw has happened upon and, once she can see Caillin seems to be alright, she turns to leave but not before giving Ruthgar an encouraging smile. The trek to Aralt's bed takes only several seconds and she is quick to sit down, how heavily she does so making it obvious how weighted down she feels emotionally. "You look well," she compliments the Ranger, her words softly spoken.

The Ranger sips the water from his cup and looks up as Eliylw comes to take seat by his bed. Araltaidan smiles, "I feel better. I think … I had bad dreams, at first. Cold, hurt, lost in a dark wood. It was home but it was not friendly." He pauses, keeping his baritone pitched low but not the softness of weakness as it was before, "Then I saw a bit of light shining down through the trees and when I got to it, it was less cold. A hand touched me in the light and warmth flooded me, taking away my pain and fear."

Aralt looks a little embarassed, fingering his cup of water, "Anyway, the bad dreams haven't returned since."

Ruthgar's brows twitch upwards and he looks even more alarmed when he hears Caillin's words. "Tis no joke, my love.", he replies hoarsely, as he reaches out to place his hand gently on her belly. "That little heart has stopped beating. Your wounds, they got infected. And that… claimed the little one's life. Please. I wish it were different. But… we must accept the harsh truth, my flower." He leans forward to place a kiss onto her forehead, his pale grey eyes looking a touch disturbed.

The girl starts fiercely shaking her head after her forehead is kissed, even the ribbon losses its stability and falls somewhere on the bed, releasing her flaxen curls. The hair are blowing around her shoulders and fall on her face, hidding crying eyes and the skin, which becomes more an more pale.

Likely, trying to keep the most horrible words from leaving her throat the girl bites to her lip as fiercely as she is shaking her head. A few drops of blood shows up.

She pushes Ruthgar's hands from her belly. She starts kicking the blanket out of her bed and her effort not to speak - fails. She starts screaming as loudly as she can, making most of the other patients freeze. Her hands grab her curls, tugging them, shaking her head. At first, her scream is just nothing meaning ear-splitting sound, full of incredibly huge heart-wrenching pain. But then, then her lips try to express the pain in words, "Nooooo!.. That is a lie!.. The Light blessed me with this child! They did not take him away! That is all just lie!!! Nooooo!… They did not take…"

Then the girl suddenly freezes. Just for a few seconds, letting her eyes widen even more. She starts crawling backwards, until her back meets the wall. She folds her legs, and hugs them with trembling pale hands. The girl crouches as a hedgehog. Her lips whispers in a dangerously silent whisper, "They did not take him away… I killed my unborn child… I killed my child…" And her lips tighten. The girl freezes as she would become just a statue. She even forgets to blink and the only one moving objects are tears. But the girl does not let even the sobing sound out. This small hedgehog just crouches on the corner of the bed, with eyes full of horror.

Eliylw is reminded that she had meant to tell Wenna about that - the warmth and the following improvement she saw in him - but it has been so chaotic here that it slipped her mind. Thankfully Aralt reminds her of it and she takes mental note to do so later. Reaching out, she touches his cheek for a moment while looking into his eyes, her own mirroring a happiness she just could not bring herself to feel until now. "Tell me if they return and I'll do what I can to chase them away for you," is whispered. With the sadness occuring not too far from them she is trying very hard not to listen but Eli catches enough to cause her to flinch and soon the happiness is replaced with tears for Caillin and Ruthgar.

Dreams are foolishness of course and not to be taken seriously. Aralt knows that and he smiles a little at Eliylw. "Pay it no mind, Eli. I'm fine." The ranger finishes his cup of water and sets it aside, then his attention is taken by Caillin's strange fit and her shouting. He frowns, "She's lost her baby?" The Sky Forester dare not ask above a whisper, "I am sorry for them both. I tried to get her to run but she would not go." Ah, now Eli is upset. The archer reaches a hand over to take her slender fingers into his rough calloused own, "It is not your fault."

His pale grey eyes widen when Ruthgar feels her pushing his hand away from her, her scream and strange behaviour startle him. But nonetheless, he grabs her, firmly, trying to keep her from harming herself. "Caillin! Come to your senses! It's the truth and we need to accept it!", he shouts, releasing her when he feels her anger dissipating, letting her crawl backwards, while he watches her, his face almost white. But when he hears her whisper he moves over to her, his arms coming to rest around his wife as he hugs her tightly. "You did not.", he mutters into her ear. "I know, you didn't. It was that robber in the street." And he lowers his head to put his forehead against hers, his grey eyes gleaming with tears that he still manages to hold back somehow, but his voice trembles when he addresses her again. "Caillin… I need you to know. I am not wroth at you about what happened. Just stay with me. Here. Alive. Please."

"I will pay it mind if I wish," she points out with a smile. There's a pause then when Eliylw finds her hand taken, her eyes lowering to his as she pauses. Just that mere touch does so much to soothe her and the tears do not have a chance to fall. "I know. I do not blame myself truly," she whispers back after moving closer, giving Aralt's hand a gentle squeeze. Her own hand is soft compared to his, perhaps surprisingly so for someone who picks herbs and gets her hands dirty on a regular basis.

The young baroness just slowly moves her eyes to fix them on Ruthgar's, when his forehead is resting on hers. She slowly raises her hand and brushes his dark curls. Caillin's lips whispers, "I… I am sorry… I killed our child. It was /me/. I /am/ a murderer. Our child is dead… I am not worth your love… All I am worth are blades of executioner. I killed pure and innocent soul… I dissappointed you… and that is a weak word. I did something worse than dissappointing you… I am a murderer… And you were the moonshine, which I turned off… I hope you will forgive me some day… I am a murderer…" And her hands fall as her head is lowered. She fixes her gaze on the belly, tears are rippling across her cheeks. She becomes as silent as night.

Araltaidan smiles at little, watching Eli and trying to give the others their privacy. In so much as there isn't screaming or throwing of things. He keeps his voice low, "I hope the Lady Wenna will let me go soon. I will eat and rest but there is little need for me to take up a bed here when I could sleep elsewhere." The archer pauses to look around, aware that he has no clothing beneath his blankets, "Perhaps… clothes and my lute might be brought? My things are in the barracks. The Master of Arms, he could unlock my trunk for them." Aralt tips his head to try and catch Eli's gaze, "I could play a little for you, if it bothers no one?"

If Eliylw is aware of the state of dress (or non-dress, as the case may be) she is tactful enough to not comment upon it. "I will see to it personally that your belongings are brought to you." Not that there are not others here who are trustworthy enough to gather Aralt's requested items but she has taken it as a personal mission to make sure his needs are attended to. "As for when Lady Wenna will release you, perhaps you can speak with her upon the next you see her."

"Nonsense!", Ruthgar replies softly as his hand brushes over her cheek to dry her tears. "You didn't. You wanted to help. You… saved a child, remember? It was a bad chain of events. I still am your moonshine, but the moon is nothing without the sun, the moon will darken for all eternity if his sun diappears. Is that what you want, Caillin? To take that last hope from me? After all you have done? You wanted to mend what I thought could never be mended. And you succeeded." His words come swiftly now, as he studies her nervously. "I need you. But you have to shine again. And…" he hesitates. "Those orphans… they need you too! What shall become of them. If you should fade…" His arms still hold her and he is cradling her like a child that has woken from some nightmare. "My love. You are not to blame. Believe me. It is I. I should have made sure you were safe when I was not around…"

Araltaidan has of course a blanket (actually two) and is well covered so his state is not obvious except when the healers needs must check his bandages. He nods, "I will. Is there something to eat? I am quite hungry." There is no mention of the odd bowel placed beneath his bed and likely Aralt himself is unaware of the old woman's gesture to keep evil spirts (like Lady Faerinia!) away from the ranger.

"You gave me guards, I had Gaela… And… I left them…" speaks the girl without any struggle to run away from her husband's armful. She lets him to cradle her. She does not move, "You did everything… You told me many times… I never listened… It is my fault, not yours that the little heart stoped… It is me… You are worth of a better wife. The one, who would listen, the one, who could bring you the child, the one, who would make you smile, not cry… All I did was to worry you… Someone another must take care of the Orphanage, my love. And someone has to take care of you. I am a murderer and I must be punished as one. I will always love you…" She clasps her hands around Ruthgar and once more becomes silent.

"I will get you something to eat, Aralt." By now he should be able to handle something a little more substantial than just broth but nothing as heavy as stew. Rising from her seat, the apprentice goes to see to that, grateful to remove herself from where she can hear the sad conversation between Ruthgar and his wife for now.

"No!" The cry comes from deep within his chest, and Ruthgar grabs Caillin by her shoulders. "Will you stop contradicting your husband, my love. Noone else will take care of the orphanage like you could. You have the most caring heart of anyone I have ever known! And if you continue to speak like this you will see me cry indeed. Is this what you want? To watch me break down, my love?" There is despair in his tone as the words break from the depth of his chest.

The Ruxton exhales deeply, trying to regain his composure, as his mind races, seeking desperately a way to convice his wife. Suddenly his gaze lightens up and he remarks: "You saved the infant. It has no… no parents. Maybe… maybe you could… we could raise it as if it were our own. That poor infant, you saved it. So you are in a way responsible for his wellbeing."

Tired as the day is long Wenna makes her way into the infirmary. Her long hair has been raided and bound up beneath a white linen biggens. She is walking without her cane today and she pauses just inside of the door to listen and to watch.

Caillin does not speak, and it looks like she is not listening for her husband at all. She just lies in his armful as a doll. There is the only moment, when she raises her eyes to his… It is when he offers to grow that infant as hers. But she says nothing and her eyes are still crying. She trembles, her lip is bleeding, after the bite from before.

Araltaidan smiles faintly, "Thank you." he quietly offers to Eliylw upon her assurance that she will bring him something to eat. Until then, he glances briefly to the two nobles, then eases himself to lay more in his bed and rest until Eli returns. The archer's grey eyes settle upon the Lady Wenna in the doorway, studying her and noting the woman's fatigue.

Eliylw purposefully passes by Wenna on her way to fetch the Ranger some food. She mutters to the Lady Healer, her eyes holding to hers, the tears Araltaidan managed to distract her from returning. They do not fall but they very easily might if she doesn't keep control of them.

Eliylw mutters to Wenna, "… a… My… I do… might need… something… her… they…"

"Gods!" Ruthgar mutters, as he holds his wife for another moment. "You think about it, okay?" He places a kiss to her cheek when he hugs her, taking care not to cause her too much discomfort, but his pale grey eyes look very weary and exhausted when he lets go of her. "I will be back. And you know I will always love you." Those last words almost a whisper as he turns to leave, too caught up in their personal drama to offer the usual courtesies to those present as he slips out of the room.

When Caillin is left by her husband, she says nothing, she just curls in the bed as hedgehog, stabbing her gaze to a point known just for her. Her dinner remains untouched.

Nodding her Wenna looks to Eli and she whispers something back to her as she passes. She then moves with long slow strides into the room. She moves closer to the bed Where Caillin in resting and the Baron is standing next. She does not say anything for a while instead she stands there and watches and listens for a moment.

There's a nod of understanding from Wenna's apprentice who hurries, her strides more purposeful than when she was going to be getting food only. Eli will be a few.

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