Etiquette

Etiquette (derived from a Greek word meaning "custom") is a set of rules relating to the visual manifestations of attitude towards people, namely behavior in public places, forms of address and greetings, manners and dress code.

Though etiquette has been known since ancient times, it acquired its current form in the second era.

The medieval society of Mobrin is strictly hierarchical. The public consciousness of the period consists of three categories: "praying, fighting and working" people. But gradually the class of feudal lords began to expand due to warriors who didn’t belong to nobility (knights). By the second century of the second era a special class of people, namely knighthood, was formed in Mobrin. The knights considered themselves "the pick of the world", the highest layer of the society that created its own lifestyle, code of ethics and morals. They formed special norms and values that allowed them to separate from the common people.

A Note About Gender

Daeren has very specific public consciousness about the roles of women and men. It is a patriarchal society, ruled by a King with property being inherited through the father's line. When getting married, it is usual for the woman to join her husband's family, except in extreme circumstances. Women generally wear dresses and single noble Ladies are never alone in the company of a male other than their family (father, brothers, uncles, and close cousins). Women generally curtsey rather than bow, and anywhere a bow is listed below, you may assume that a Lady will curtsey instead. Everyone is expected to obey the Head of the House, and in general women are expected to obey their husbands within reason. This does not give a husband or father leave to be abusive. Despite the patriarchal bent to society, males and females are equal in the clergy. Additionally, women are expected to be able to run a household, to teach their children, and perhaps to be a healer. Noble women are considered to be too exquisite to work, and instead are expected to make use of their time in art and charitable ways. Women are treated with respect and are not merely property - they just have their own roles to fill.

Chaperones

It is considered unbecoming at best and scandalous at worst for an unmarried noblewoman to be alone in the company of a man, be he noble or common. This is part of why noblewomen often have handmaidens who follow them around: not only do they carry things and make conversation, they can serve as a chaperone should a gentleman happen along. By extension, if an unmarried noblewoman is to be accompanied by an armed guard, she will require the guard, and a handmaiden besides (otherwise, she would be alone with the male guard).

Those ladies who violate this etiquette will find gossip circulating about themselves, and- if a habit is made of disregarding such social mores- they will find themselves reputed as un-virtuous or promiscuous, even if nothing amiss ever happened. At worst, rumors of illicit affairs can begin based on nothing more than a lady being alone with a gentleman.

Punishment for such actions is at the discretion of the lady's father or head of house. In rare cases, the head of the house/father of the gentleman involved may take action (particularly if he is a PC where the Lady's house head is an NPC). Punishment may be as small as loss of privileges (grounding) for the nobles involved or might be as significant as being cast out of the family and shunted off to the clergy in extreme cases. It is also quite likely that the handmaids/guards of such ladies may also be punished, perhaps significantly. They will most likely lose their jobs, but may also be jailed and/or flogged.

Note - these rules apply to the young, unmarried Ladies. Married noblewomen have significantly more leeway, though they too should not spend excessive amounts of time alone with any men not family. In this case, it is up to the husband to mind his wife's virtue. Additionally, widows have the same leeway as married noble women, except in the case where their husband's family (since they would have joined that family upon marriage) is looking to marry them off to a new husband. In general, this chaperone idea is to protect the virginity of the young girls and to ensure that any children born soon after the wedding are those of the husband. These rules apply to nobles, not to commoners or clergy. However, some wealthy commoners may also follow these rules.

Handmaids and Guards - All are hired by a noblewoman's family and are unable to be swayed to look the other way should a noblewoman seek to engage in a secret tryst or any other such behavior. It is possible for a noblewoman to slip her guards, but should a noblewoman choose to do so - they need to inform the male members of her house as they will likely be immediately notified.

A guard is tasked with protecting a noblewoman at all costs from dangers to body and reputation. If noblewoman is deliberately slipping her guards or Handmaid to engage in behavior not befitting a noblewoman, you can be certain that reports of the activities will be delivered to your respective heads of house.

Rules

There are several rules of etiquette although not every one is a strict rule; some are more fluid as can be seen below. Other than basic greetings, addresses during polite conversation and so forth, there are a few other rules that hold strength as well.

Conversation

Business

Dining

Leisure

  • If one sees someone they recognize they should at least offer a nod, this being a rather loose rule but one that is appreciated.
  • When meeting someone it is polite to offer some small talk after the introductions.
  • Smiles can be appreciated during conversations.
  • Hand gestures are considered rude when in a group.
  • Hand gestures are used over distance rather than yelling.
  • Decisions should be discussed between a select few. Be it a kingdom, village or shop that is discussed. (Ex: Baker and a coworker discuss a decision)
  • Gifts should be received with two hands.
  • The one hosting a meeting is in charge of having some kind of drink and snack.
  • Don't snack loudly during a meeting. Don't talk with your mouth full.
  • Don't interrupt when someone is speaking.
  • When beckoning someone to join your table, it is custom to offer them the same as you are having. (Only if the meeting wasn't planned.)
  • Utensils are to be placed above the plate when setting the table, away from the user. So the plate is between the person and the utensils.
  • When finished, a napkin is to be put on the plate to indicate that you are finished.
  • Food is served on a larger tray and placed on the table before being sent to each participant.
  • The host is the first to take a bite of the food followed by allowing the rest to eat before he continues. In show of good faith that the food is not poisoned.
  • Utensils placed on each side of the plate is a gesture for second servings.
  • It is polite for a man to offer his arm to escort a woman in his company. This being more common and expected among nobles.
  • Holding the door for others can be seen as polite. It's to be expected to hold the door for people of higher rank, or if you are a guard.
  • Elders should be treated respectfully due to their wisdom.
  • A proper child should not speak up against their elders.
  • An elder shall always speak first.
  • Proper ladies ride sidesaddle.
  • Almost only crude women wear pants or breeches. Exception with rangers, although still wearing looser pants.
  • When nobles offer sanctuary it is very strict that they treat their guests respectfully and do not trick them. When such is offered you need to keep your word. Be it for peace treaties or anything else. Of course the guest are still to behave as usual guests.
  • When inviting someone over to your residence it is custom to offer them drinks. And depending on the time of day, also food.
  • When stepping into someone's private chambers it is custom to take off your boots, unless told otherwise.
  • It is polite to offer a dance to at least one of the the hosts/hosting family's members during a ball, feast or similar.
  • Always greet the hosts when arriving at their estate for any event.

Hierarchical Etiquette

Type IC Titles Description
Royal Leader King/Queen/Grand Duke/Grand Prince/Etc Leading the people. The Royal leaders are the highest person in the kingdom/grand duchy/Empire.
Royal Heir Crown Prince/Crown Princess The heir to a royal throne. Each Kingdom, and it's equal, only have one of these.
Royal Prince/Princess The children of the Royal leader. As well as the king's siblings. But the king's nieces are not counted here.
Duke Duke/Duchess The largest vassals under the king.
Count Count/Countess Second largest vassals under the king.
Baron Baron/Baroness Third largest vassals under the king.
Lesser Head of house Lordship/Ladyship/Etc The head of any vassal to the king, under Baron. Or vassal to one of the larger house types.
Noble Heir Youg lord/Young lady The heir to a house. This includes his wife if they are married.
Noble Lord/Lady Any noble that do not fit the other positions. Nieces and nephews to the king are also here.
Ranger Ranger (Scout for Ranger in training) The rangers that serve under king or house. Map makers, trackers, hunters, stalkers of men.
Knight Sir Soldiers with the rank of knight. The ones that protect us. Guards.
Squire Young Sir Knight-in-training. taught under a knight. Pages count in here as well.
Cleric Priestess/Priest/Chosen/Benefactor/Gardener/Clerks The servants of religion
Healer Master/Mistress/Healer/Doctor/Surgeon/Apothecary Those that make people better.
Craftsman Master/Mistress/Smith/Shipwright/Mason/Etc Anyone that makes a living by creating things of lasting capacity. Such as castles, houses, whittlers, tailors.
Merchant Master/Mistress/Trader/Shopowner/Merchant/Etc People that make a living by trading or owning shops. People that offer things and does not work for someone else. Cooks and similar often count here. Ex: Innkeeper, baker, brewer, Traveling salesman
Apprentice Young Master/Young Mistress Apprentice of any sort to one of master title.
High Commoner Gentleman/Madame Rich commoners
Commoner Mister/Miss/Missus Anyone that does not fit anywhere else go here. Hunters, barmaids, etc.
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